me me me me me, woe is me.

I am ready to win

I am ready to win the lottery. Seriously. I have it planned out. First thing, would be to see a financial advisor. I would hate to have all that money and lose it. I would try to keep it quiet. I would no doubt be inundated with lots of new friends from my past looking for a handout. All requests would be re-directed to my accountant, who still needs me to sign off, once he has vetted the list. Not to mention long lost relatives. I don’t doubt it would expose how ugly people can be.

But you can always live modestly, and pretend you haven’t got money. Its a lot harder the other way around. Unless you are a member of the Royal family, or Blue Ivy, you can probably retain a good deal of anonymity wherever you choose to go in the world.

They say money can’t buy you happiness. I say a) you are buying the wrong things ┬áb) people are naturally unhappy. It could be thrown at you, stuck in a warzone, natural disaster, assault. It could be of your own doing, ruining relationships, doing badly at work. At least, with money, you have a full belly and a roof over your head. Your worries transcend the basic needs on Maslow’s hierarchy.

If I have to cry, I’d rather weep into a thousand thread count Egyptian cotton pillows.

Last I checked, poor people betray each other too. Ever seen Jerry Springer?

I would buy some houses to rent out. Buy some businesses in which I was a silent partner. Assign myself an allowance of perhaps 2 grand a month.

I would have a trust fund for my siblings school fees. I would have my uncle draw up a business plan if he wants to expand his business. I would give my mother a large lump sum, because boy has she thrown a lot of it my way (in school fees). I would pay for my Favourite’s PHD.

I might buy a round the world ticket, and take a year off to travel. I’d send my brother out there too, to open his eyes. I would probably stay at nice hotels though, I recently discovered I can’t really do the true backpacker experience.

I realise what I’m really buying when I purchase a ticket is hope. The hope that tomorrow, my financial future will be secure. And I can afford laser hair removal of certain areas, because no matter what, I’m sure I don’t want to ever see pubes outside of my underwear again.

I’m ready.

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This entry was posted on February 14, 2012 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , .
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